“C’mon, ref! Call it
both ways!”
“OH, call that one! What about the three before on them?!”
“Hey ref! Hey ref!”
“You’re a hometown ref!”
“Go buy some glasses!”
Tell me when you’ve heard too much.
“Oh come on!”
“Are you blind?!”
“No way!”
“Ref, you suck!”
“C’mon, that’s a handball!”
Have you heard too much yet?
“Hey ref, go [fornicate] yourself!”
“Ref, go eat a bag of [expletives]!”
Now have you heard too much?
When did it become too much? Did “hometown ref” get you? Are
you blind? You suck? If they did, maybe you need to rethink about what warrants
too much abuse because not enough has become too much.
Referees upset 50% of the people every time they blow the
whistle. And just about every time a referee blows the whistle, we hear moans
or groans. The sources of these gripes are players, coaches, and parents. Some
amount of disagreement has to be expected and even accepted. One of the jobs of
the referee is to discern disappointment from dissent.
The player that caused the foul is usually the first to
gripe, or at least the first to be heard because the referee is probably closer
to the player than the coaches or parents. The player gripe usually is a “come
on” or “no way.” This is frustration, not dissent. Pleading to avoid a yellow
card typically isn’t dissent either, “I didn’t mean it, ref.” As long as the
frustration comes from a distance and isn’t threatening, the referee needs to
remember that soccer is an emotional game.
Coaches can be pretty verbal, too. But again, nine times out
of ten it’s frustration or disappointment, not dissent. Exasperated gasps,
hands thrown in the air, or a hat thrown to the ground shouldn’t get your
lanyard in a bunch.
Parents, well, they’re a special breed, and we probably need
to give more leeway to parents than to any other participant in the game. Removing
a parent from the pitch for complaining about a call is a lot of paperwork. Not
only is the paperwork a pain, the referee has probably lost more control by
dismissing the parent than letting the negativity roll of their back.
When did we cross the line? When were you triggered? In all
honesty, it takes a lot to get my feathers rustled. In the examples I gave, I
didn’t get triggered until the direct use of foul language towards the ref
because unless Dick’s is a BBQ joint, being told to go eat a bag of them is
pretty abusive. It’s definitely time to step in at that point; however, in the
examples, not much else should warrant stopping the flow of the game to tell
the coach or player to simmer down.
To me, it seems that collectively we as referees have gotten
relatively thin-skinned. Like I stated earlier, soccer is an extremely
passionate game. Passion is an important part of the game. It can determine the
ebb and flow of the match. Passion can lead to bad tackles or dynamic saves.
There has to be an outlet for frustrations within the match, especially when we
blow the whistle.
Until the frustrations become disrespectful, the frustrations
have a place on the pitch; easily offended referees do not. Our job is to
control the match and enforce the laws of the game. To do what’s expected of us
we need to control our emotions when people disagree with us. It doesn’t do the
game, the players, or the coaches any good to get into it every time someone
gripes.
To quote my old Company Commander from boot camp, “toughen
up, buttercup.”
